Turn of Phrase Blog

  1. You surprise yourself with how shocked you are that servers in a restaurant outside your community are NOT wearing plastic gloves.  Eating at home was never so appealing!
  2. In an effort to wash your hands long enough, you find yourself silently singing “Happy Birthday” twice because you’ve sung it out loud so much to prompt your child.
  3. Today the grocery store has no chicken, no cottage cheese, no yeast and not very many frozen vegetables.  It boggles the mind what so many people could be cooking at once to run out of these things.  But then, maybe they are also using their stores of rice and canned goods.  But then with that food combination maybe they will soon need their 12-packs of toilet paper too?
  4. Your dog is inordinately happy with all the walks in nature you’ve been taking her on.  It’s a dog’s life with COVID-19!
  5. All the laundry is done and folded.  There are no dirty clothes in the laundry bin.  There is no dirty laundry anywhere in your house, period.
  6. While disinfecting the crevices of your landline phone receiver, using your supply of Lysol wipes, you accidentally dial one of your overseas “robot calls”.  oops.
  7. What Democratic Primary?  They’re having a Debate??  Oh, you forgot about that.
  8. You keep stealing loving glances at your spouse.  NOT!  You’re actually stealing loving glances at those yard rocks you controlled yesterday (see Mar 14 blog).
  9. Instead of lipstick, women on the streets of your community are sporting face masks. The number of people without masks is diminishing.
  10. While you dismiss the idea out of hand due to lack of practicality, it does cross your mind to wipe down the flowers your spouse brought home.  Transfer loving glances to thoughtful husband from organized yard rocks.  🙂

Written by Carmen G. Farrell

An emerging writer and mother of two, Carmen Farrell (she/her) lives in North Vancouver. In her memoir-in-progress, she explores both personal and societal ableism, sharing her experience of raising a son with impairments in a world that devalues disability.
Published March 15, 2020

Archives

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