Dear Garbage Collectors,

You are my new bff’s! Seriously. That day I saw the empty garbage can I did the “Happy Snoopy Dance” right then and there with my neighbors looking on over their breakfast preparations. There’s nothing like a kitchen renovation to break down one’s inhibitions, I have found. In my pink fuzzy house coat no less. In the rain. Which I’ve already blogged about so you know what’s happening there. With my glasses on. Which is saying a lot because if I could wear my contact lenses 25 hours a day, I would. No one sees me in my a) bathrobe and brown plastic “crocs” and b) eye glasses. To see all in combination, gyrating at the curbside on a Tuesday morning? Well, let’s just say no one has said “hello” to me on the street since. It’s been over two weeks. Hmmm.

But apparently my friends who have been spared the 7:45 am spectacle at the end of my driveway DO like me. Half a dozen kind souls offered up their own precious blue “get out of jail free” extra garbage tags within minutes of my last blog post. The next day one even drove hers over with a warm meal. What did I do to deserve that?? 🙂

But…do you think I could have that chocolate back? Please? I need it. I promise that in exchange, I will make you some nice homemade cookies or something if my flipping kitchen ever gets finished. I don’t know if that will happen.

You know, when my husband and two children, our fuzzy brown dog, and I started this renovation, our contractor said it would take three weeks. He’s such a kind, gentle man. He expected that it was really possible that everything would fall into place. He is SO deluded. But…like, really?…Has he ever done this before? …Three weeks? One week in my husband’s cocktail-party quip was that “We’re one week in and one week behind…so things are unfolding as they should!”. Funny man. NOT. Now we are three weeks in (bordering on four) and as many weeks “behind”.

demolition was the EASY part

I have had so many people ask me when we expect to be done. I have answered each patiently: “Our contractor says three weeks, but I have no expectations around that. It will be done when it’s done.” Smile benevolently. Queue yoga studio waterfall music sounds. Say “Ohm” charmingly and end conversation. Feel proud of myself for not being attached to outcomes.

I have to come up with a different answer now. I think it will go something like…smile through clenched teeth: “Well. We have hit a few snags, but that always happens with these things. We’re hoping for the end of the month.” Oh no…did I really voice an “expectation” out loud? Queue inner voice that is telling me to shut up about the dangers of expectations. Not working.

Now where is that chocolate I bought at Costco????